Two events that had happened in the last one hour have made him feel suffocated. He didn't know whether to react or stay calm. Although the events were not a big deal so he thought he should not think about them much and dismiss them as trivial but his heart was aching and he was not able to take off that heavy load off his chest. He sat to study but then again started thinking why. Its not hate that he felt, nor was he angry at circumstances. Its just that he wanted his brain to be dead for sometime - atleast till this heavyness on the heart eases a little. He just wanted it to be plain dead, no thoughts, no flashes of the past, nothing, just numb.
He had huge assignments piled up and lots of pre-readings to catch up; should make his heart dead rather than my brain. Damn, he thought..
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Mausam ye Awesome Badha..
It rained last night. :)
Not that this place is a desert that is yearning for one single drop of water, infact we live very near to the sea. But the weather is just feeling so nice. I think winters are approaching. Though, heard from my friends that they don't experience winters here, but I guess I am missing the winters already and therefore hopelessly trying to experience it in the chillness in the weather.
But something is there in the weather today that is making me happy. Laughing gas maybe, but when these chilly winds strike my face, my lips automatically stretch and give away a smile.
The construction work that goes on infront of my window has stopped due to these rains and that leaves me with no disturbing noises - just the rotation of the fan, the raindrops falling, the occasional shouts by the girls in my hostel calling out somebody's name - no, I am still not able to hear the noise generated by my laptop - see how awesome my lappy is.. and yes, neither am i able to hear the sound of my breathing. I don't really understand why people make so much fuss about hearing and concentrating on this sound of breathing. Even if you are able to hear it , so what.. If you want peace of mind, you don't necessarily have to hear the sound of breathing - there are many other ways for mango people like us to feel joy and happiness , get a life come on.
Ok, I should stop digressing. The cool breeze is lifting the curtains of my window. From where I am sitting, I am seeing the swaying of the branches of trees by this wind, smelling the wet soil.
And look, How long have I stretched one single sentence - "The weather is nice" to such a long post . Hehe. MBA made me do that..
But damn.. I have to go attend a class in an AC room.. I want to sit here with the mother nature and study,Damn the AC.. Hope the sea waves come gushing at my campus, eat the ACs and go away.. sigh!!
Not that this place is a desert that is yearning for one single drop of water, infact we live very near to the sea. But the weather is just feeling so nice. I think winters are approaching. Though, heard from my friends that they don't experience winters here, but I guess I am missing the winters already and therefore hopelessly trying to experience it in the chillness in the weather.
But something is there in the weather today that is making me happy. Laughing gas maybe, but when these chilly winds strike my face, my lips automatically stretch and give away a smile.
The construction work that goes on infront of my window has stopped due to these rains and that leaves me with no disturbing noises - just the rotation of the fan, the raindrops falling, the occasional shouts by the girls in my hostel calling out somebody's name - no, I am still not able to hear the noise generated by my laptop - see how awesome my lappy is.. and yes, neither am i able to hear the sound of my breathing. I don't really understand why people make so much fuss about hearing and concentrating on this sound of breathing. Even if you are able to hear it , so what.. If you want peace of mind, you don't necessarily have to hear the sound of breathing - there are many other ways for mango people like us to feel joy and happiness , get a life come on.
Ok, I should stop digressing. The cool breeze is lifting the curtains of my window. From where I am sitting, I am seeing the swaying of the branches of trees by this wind, smelling the wet soil.
And look, How long have I stretched one single sentence - "The weather is nice" to such a long post . Hehe. MBA made me do that..
But damn.. I have to go attend a class in an AC room.. I want to sit here with the mother nature and study,Damn the AC.. Hope the sea waves come gushing at my campus, eat the ACs and go away.. sigh!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
MBAteshwari mata ke anmol vachan..
Two things that I have learned here-
1. It is possible to do anything no matter how limited the time is.
I have written 12-15 pages of bakar on a subject that I know nothing about, completed huge assignments in just 1 hour, prepared and gave 8 exams in 50 hours n all went well, awake for two three nights continuously;still awake in class managing to participate in class discussions, doing FB, gtalk, playing farmville and crazy taxi,gossiping a lot with friends in this tight schedule;everything is possible, I just have to think that I have no other option but to do it and that thing gets done. That of course makes me wonder why I don't post often; I mean if I can squeeze everything, I can squeeze writing for the blog too. Well, that's because I think that is an option for me and options are not important for me.
2. In the end, its only I who matters. Everything else can be ignored. Its not that I have become materialistic and would not care for human beings around me- its just that in my quest, I have come to realize what is important and what is not. I really don't care what others are doing around me, it doesn't matter to me if others are stealing my credits, it doesn't matter to me if others bitch about me- it doesn't matter anymore. I have that one goal and its just that what matters to me.
Initially when I read Fountainhead I hated Howard Roark- that how can a person be so self absorbed that nothing in the world matters to him. Now I know that nothing in the world actually matters.
BTW, MBAs talk in point system language; hence the above post in points :)
1. It is possible to do anything no matter how limited the time is.
I have written 12-15 pages of bakar on a subject that I know nothing about, completed huge assignments in just 1 hour, prepared and gave 8 exams in 50 hours n all went well, awake for two three nights continuously;still awake in class managing to participate in class discussions, doing FB, gtalk, playing farmville and crazy taxi,gossiping a lot with friends in this tight schedule;everything is possible, I just have to think that I have no other option but to do it and that thing gets done. That of course makes me wonder why I don't post often; I mean if I can squeeze everything, I can squeeze writing for the blog too. Well, that's because I think that is an option for me and options are not important for me.
2. In the end, its only I who matters. Everything else can be ignored. Its not that I have become materialistic and would not care for human beings around me- its just that in my quest, I have come to realize what is important and what is not. I really don't care what others are doing around me, it doesn't matter to me if others are stealing my credits, it doesn't matter to me if others bitch about me- it doesn't matter anymore. I have that one goal and its just that what matters to me.
Initially when I read Fountainhead I hated Howard Roark- that how can a person be so self absorbed that nothing in the world matters to him. Now I know that nothing in the world actually matters.
BTW, MBAs talk in point system language; hence the above post in points :)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Random thoughts..
Is it that you need to fight always... or is swallowing the pride an option??
Is it that you need to compete... or is losing an option??
Is it that you need to do everything right... or is guilt an option??
Is it that you need to survive somehow always... or is death an option??
P.S. I am not depressed, just to clarify.
Is it that you need to compete... or is losing an option??
Is it that you need to do everything right... or is guilt an option??
Is it that you need to survive somehow always... or is death an option??
P.S. I am not depressed, just to clarify.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Brickbats are welcomed...
Bus bahut ho gaya.. I am into one of my cribbing modes today.. have to vent out my anger yaar..
Okay, I have not blogged since long.. and this are not nice blog netiquettes to greet thodhe bahut readers that I have with a cribbing post after such a long time.. But there is a lot more to be done on my part to attain that Brahman stage where everything seems nice.. So till that time , Crib it will be :p
So, onto my cribbing.. I was co-ordinating shifting of the girls of my college from one hostel block to another.. I know I have that managing ppl.. and leading them “kidha” (insect) in me, so just couldn’t sit down and let things happen.. I took the charge and was helping/coordinating the girls..
Now girls as they are.. oops.. most of the girls as they are ( before some of my friends start pulling my leg) just lack some basic level of common sense plus are never decent when they have to interact with people of their own sex. And because of that, I had to bear the brunt of their angst and fury if they encountered any problem in shifting.. Imagine, a person having around 3 years of exp in industry coming down at me saying that her ac remote has been stolen.. Common man, am I responsible for something being stolen from your room. You have the room keys with you, you let your room open.. but it was my responsibility .. good.. I am helping you out guys and if you lost it.. we can sort it out.. but coming down and shouting for this.. I already feel sad for whoever her husband would be..
Then there was this girl who came to me and asked for the keys for her room just as I was eating something in the cafeteria.. Oh yes.. I am supposed to carry all the room keys to cafeteria .. Its like keys would value add to the taste of the food.. girl, give me a break.. at least let me have my cup of tea.. I asked her to meet me in hostel and she doesn’t turn up take the key.. Oops .. was it like she expected me to come to cafeteria with her keys and give her the keys there?.. leave it chalo…
One girl had a broken key ring, the implication of which was that by seeing the key, you couldn’t tell which room it belonged to.. I asked the girls who had given me that key so that I can mark it with designated room no. No response.. I then tallied for all the keys for all the rooms and after half an hour came to know of the room for that key.. When I asked the occupant of the room about it.. She was like .. Oops.. I forgot.. Oops my foot!!
Okay .. some of you would now be like.. Been there done that.. Whats new in it.. everybody faces such kind of issues.. and its really irritating to read somebody doling out crap about some crappy people.. what the hell .. I don’t even give a shit if there r some ppl like that..
Brickbats are welcomed.. Infact I need one of them to bang my head against them.. Coz I am going crazy living with the shit around me..
P.S Hoping to have a thought provoking.. or humorous, lively post next time.. pakka..
BTW, I know I’ll still help those girls.. and not all are bad.. Some are Saatvik.. Some are Raajsik.. and I am the sheep lion ;) .. no I am the loon.. talking such crazy stuff..
Okay, I have not blogged since long.. and this are not nice blog netiquettes to greet thodhe bahut readers that I have with a cribbing post after such a long time.. But there is a lot more to be done on my part to attain that Brahman stage where everything seems nice.. So till that time , Crib it will be :p
So, onto my cribbing.. I was co-ordinating shifting of the girls of my college from one hostel block to another.. I know I have that managing ppl.. and leading them “kidha” (insect) in me, so just couldn’t sit down and let things happen.. I took the charge and was helping/coordinating the girls..
Now girls as they are.. oops.. most of the girls as they are ( before some of my friends start pulling my leg) just lack some basic level of common sense plus are never decent when they have to interact with people of their own sex. And because of that, I had to bear the brunt of their angst and fury if they encountered any problem in shifting.. Imagine, a person having around 3 years of exp in industry coming down at me saying that her ac remote has been stolen.. Common man, am I responsible for something being stolen from your room. You have the room keys with you, you let your room open.. but it was my responsibility .. good.. I am helping you out guys and if you lost it.. we can sort it out.. but coming down and shouting for this.. I already feel sad for whoever her husband would be..
Then there was this girl who came to me and asked for the keys for her room just as I was eating something in the cafeteria.. Oh yes.. I am supposed to carry all the room keys to cafeteria .. Its like keys would value add to the taste of the food.. girl, give me a break.. at least let me have my cup of tea.. I asked her to meet me in hostel and she doesn’t turn up take the key.. Oops .. was it like she expected me to come to cafeteria with her keys and give her the keys there?.. leave it chalo…
One girl had a broken key ring, the implication of which was that by seeing the key, you couldn’t tell which room it belonged to.. I asked the girls who had given me that key so that I can mark it with designated room no. No response.. I then tallied for all the keys for all the rooms and after half an hour came to know of the room for that key.. When I asked the occupant of the room about it.. She was like .. Oops.. I forgot.. Oops my foot!!
Okay .. some of you would now be like.. Been there done that.. Whats new in it.. everybody faces such kind of issues.. and its really irritating to read somebody doling out crap about some crappy people.. what the hell .. I don’t even give a shit if there r some ppl like that..
Brickbats are welcomed.. Infact I need one of them to bang my head against them.. Coz I am going crazy living with the shit around me..
P.S Hoping to have a thought provoking.. or humorous, lively post next time.. pakka..
BTW, I know I’ll still help those girls.. and not all are bad.. Some are Saatvik.. Some are Raajsik.. and I am the sheep lion ;) .. no I am the loon.. talking such crazy stuff..
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